


A Vulcan's Trust

by the_deductive_butler



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deductive_butler/pseuds/the_deductive_butler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Spock take some shore leave, prompting mutual emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vulcan's Trust

Two years had passed since the events with Khan. Two years since Jim Kirk was (almost) killed. Two years since Spock had finally cracked and gave into his human-side; the part of him that caused internal struggle. Two years since he felt true pain - the aching heartbreak when he thought Jim had died.. the uncontrollable rage. And yet, Spock was able to relive that moment like it had just happened.

Five years was their agenda. Five years in space, exploring new worlds and civilizations. Spock couldn't think of a better way to spend his years than by his captain's side...

 

_His._

 

Spock opened his eyes to the fluorescent lights above his bunk. He blinked as his eyes adjusted, wondering how long he had slept. Rolling over, Spock glanced at his alarm clock and saw he still had an hour before his break ended. He sighed to himself and returned to his previous position, watching the ceiling. He had dreamed of Jim Kirk again.

 

 _"This is the fourth dream I have conjured this week."_  thought Spock.

 

He felt his stomach clench. How could one individual make him feel so.. _much?_ It wasn't logical.. it wasn't right to feel for his captain. But against every regulation, he did. And it threatened to drive him mad.

Spock closed his eyes, fighting the urge to fantasize about their relationship. He thought back to the day when he was helpless to save his captain.. where he could only watch as Jim faded away. Spock felt his throat constrict; the memories were so intense, the flood of emotions overwhelming.

 

 _"I want you to know why I went back for you."_  Jim had said.

 _"Because you are my friend,"_  was Spock's reply.

 

**Friend.**

 

A word that had one meaning to humans. But for vulcans? The term was t'hy'la. Friend, brother, lover... When Spock admitted such a feeling, it had meant so much more. Did Jim know that? Was he aware of how he made him feel? Or when their hands had touched through the glass.. Did the captain realize how intimate that experience truly was? Did he know how sensitive vulcan hands are to the touch of a lover..?

Spock swallowed and allowed his mind to wander; Never in his life had he felt so vulnerable, so confused, so frightened, so..  _thrilled._ These feelings contributed to the reason behind ending his relationship with Lieutenant Uhura. It wasn't fair to her, and she had realized how distracted Spock had become.. distant from reality itself. He was escaping into a world where Jim returned his feelings, where he could actually be  _happy.._

 

A hand touched Spock's shoulder, gently shaking him awake. "Hey, it's time for your shift."

He slowly opened his eyes, waking to the sight he welcomed, craved with such animosity, it scared him; Jim's being. His face was bright with a crooked smile, crinkling the skin. Dark bags from late nights highlighted  his brilliant blue eyes. They shined in the darkening room, meeting Spock's with intensity. Even though his features were haggard from exhaustion, Spock thought he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

 

_If I could wake to this everyday..._

 

Coming to full alert, he sat up quickly. "Captain, my apologies. This is most inappropriate." He glanced at the clock again, seeing he was fifteen minutes late to hus shift. "It was not my intention to oversleep."

Jim chuckled, "Take it easy Spock. We all need to catch up on our sleep. It's been a long few months." He ran a hand through his golden hair, ruffling the ends. "Actually, I have an idea.." A familiar, wry smile ghosted across his lips.

Spock, feeling his heart leap at the captain's expression, cocked an eyebrow. "Dare I ask, if this idea involves the breaking of Starfleet regulations?"

Jim rolled his eyes playfully. "Not this time. I was thinking we should take some shore leave. The crew deserves it.  _You_  deserve it." Again, the vulcan could feel his heart jump against its cavity. "What do you say, Spock?"

"Hmm. It would be logical for the crew to relax for a short period. Also, I believe it would prove effective in boosting morale for the remainder of our voyage."

"My thoughts exactly. And to think, we're actually getting along these days." He smiled warmly at Spock before walking towards the door. "Get to work, pointy." And with that, his t'hy'la was gone.

Spock stared at the door for a moment before standing up and straightening his blue uniform. He took note of his breathing; quick, irregular.. the result of emotion. He was unsure if he would ever adapt to it, along with the uncomfortable beats of his heart. But at the same time, Spock welcomed it with open arms.

 

_Fascinating.._

 

The commander left his quarters and made his way to the bridge, greeting the other crew members. He had hardly caught up on his sleep; Jim invading his thoughts made rest difficult to come by. But after the interaction with his captain, Spock felt refreshed and ready to handle his duties. He smiled to himself and took position in the chair, requesting ship updates.

"You're looking awfully happy this evening.. if you can call it that." Spock turned and saw Bones staring at him, a hint of smugness on his features.

"Ah. doctor. Your assumption would be correct if I referred to my mood as such. A nap does wonders for the mind."  _Or Jim Kirk for that matter.._

"So someone is finally taking my advice? Well shit, it's about time. I had to send our captain to bed like a freaking parent. No sleep equals a lack of judgement.. not that Jim isn't already lacking in that department."

Spock snickered quietly. "Consequently, the captain has requested the crew take shore leave soon. I figured you would approve, doctor."

Bones watched the vulcan for a moment. "You're right, unfortunately. I could use a damn break. The smell of medical supplies is starting to grate my nerves."

"The captain and I will discuss the plans in further detail once he rests. I will put your compliance in for good judgement," said Spock evenly.

Bones nodded slowly in approval. "Thanks commander."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hours crept on slowly. It was moments like these that Spock found himself longing for Jm's presence. He felt.. was it loneliness? Even though he was surrounded by others, he felt a strange sense of emptiness. Jim had taught him so much in the past years, Spock wondered if he knew how truly grateful he was. The human part of his conscious had been fueled by Jim's being, Spock had fought so hard, for so long, to keep the walls built up around that side of himself. Truth be told, he was tired of fighting, tired of ignoring the part of him that was begging to be used. He was a child of two worlds. And for the first time, he was proud to be apart of both, thanks to his captain. Balancing the two conflicting sides proved to be difficult, but Spock had found methods to aid in controlling the flood of emotions he would experience daily. Mostly, the new sensations came from his captain.

 

_Oh Jim.._

 

"Captain on ze bridge!" Ensign Chekov's voice broke through Spock's reverie. He stood from the chair and turned to see Jim striding toward him, blue eyes shining. The empty feeling immediately took its feel as the vulcan drank in every familair detail of his captain's being.

"How is she, Spock?"

Tearing his mind away, he responded, "All systems fully functional. The hours of your leave were uneventful."

Jim nodded. "Good" He walked closer to his first officer. "I looked at our options. There's a port at a nearby planet with lots to do. I think it's our best bet."

Spock met Kirk's gaze for a moment, "I am unaware of the activities that humans enjoy the most. I will leave the decision of where to go in your hands. Also, Mr. McCoy sends his regards in this idea. It would be logical to seek his advice for such matters."

"Pfft," Jim scoffed, "Nahh. Bones is a fun sucker. Then his smile turned mischevious. "Please tell me you would be willing to try some  _human_ fun."

Spock's eyes narrowed slightly. "I am open to try new activities, However, fear is apparant when I think about what you will get us involved in."

Jim laughed, a sound that reverberated through him, making his skin crawl in anticipation.

"I'll try to control myself, just for you." He patted Spock's shoulder.

A smirk threatened to spread acrosss the vulcan's face. "Noted."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The coordinates were set for a port in the Talos system. After checking in, the shuttles were boarded and the crew made their way to the planet's surface. Jim and Spock would rendevous back with the  _Enterprise_  to relieve Scotty from Engineering in a few hours. Leaving the starship made Jim uneasy, but excitement took over as soon their shuttle descended into the port.

Spock watched out his window as the city came into view; It was night, and the lights from the billboards and skyscrapers illuminated the sky. It was bustling, and he wondered what the captain had in mind.

The shuttle landed and people filed out, eager to step onto solid ground. Jim walked off and took the sights in, becoming exhilarated. This was his kind of city. Turning to look over his shoulder, he noticed Spock hanging by the shuttle's entrance. Whether it was intimidation or distaste that registered on the vulcan's features, Jim could not discern.

Kirk walked up to his first officer. "What's the matter, Spock?"

The sound of Jim's voice seemed to bring him back into reality. "This is certainly an.. intriguing place for shore leave."

A grin flashed across Kirk's face. "Don't worry so much. Just stick by me, and you'll have fun. I promise."

Jim took ahold of Spock's arm and guided him through the busy crowd. The different species that were congrugating in front of the port were numerous, something Spock would have taken note of.. if the captain wasn't holding onto his arm. The firm, but gentle pressure calmed Spock's nerves and he became focused on the back of Jim's head as he was lead through the crowd.

After making it through the throng of species, Jim stopped and took in the cities' lights, slowly dropping his hand from Spock's arm. "This is incredible..."

Spock gazed at his t'hy'la as the lights met his features. His eyes seemed to glow and catch the dancing hues of the bilboards. The tired lines around his mouth seemed to disappear, leaving room for that breathtaking smile. Jim was happy. He could look at his captain like this for hours.

Kirk turned and met Spock's gaze. He held it there for a moment longer than acceptable. Then Jim's eyes traveledover Spock's face. It was slight, hidden. But being vulcan, he noticed every move. The look from Jim threatened to make his heart explode. How he kept it together, Spock would never understand.

"C'mon," Jim said quietly. "I have something planned out." He took Spock's arm once more and lead him to the edge of the port. He could hear the booming bass of music as they approache a smaller complex. The smell of alcohol penetrated the air, making Spock's sensitive nose wrinkle. Using his knowledge of human activity, he came to the conclusion of what Jim had in mind; a club.

Spock stopped at the entrance, taking in what his acute senses picked up. Despite his attempts to hide it, Spock felt intimidated.. scared. Hoe could he possibly have  _fun_ in such a place?

Jim frowned and watched the mixed expressions dance over the vulcan's face. "Spock?"

He looked at his captain. "Excuse my lack of cooperation, but such a structure is not something I'm used to. I am.. somewhat concerned about proceeding."

"Ah, don't be. Remember what I said? Stick by me and you'll have fun. So unless you plan on being insubordinate, I suggest you follow my orders." Jim's smile and teasing manner made Spock want to believe him. "Trust me."

The phrase made Spock stir. He trusted Jim with his life.. now he needed to make a leap of faith, something logic demanded not be done. But he was with Captain Kirk.. logic wasn't a word in his vocabulary. It was time to let go.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Spock's lips. "As you wish."

Undeniable happiness washed over Jim as the words left Spock. "You won't regret this." He took up the vulcan's slender arm once more and led his first officer into the building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their senses were attacked upon entry; smoke filled a few corners of the room, lights strobed, music boomed, alcohol mixed, sweat dripped..

Spock surveyed the strange situation; Some stood at the bar, others hung on the outskirts, while the majority were clustered in the middle of the room, raising their drinks. He could not tell what they were doing.. an odd, human dance perhaps?

Jim, still holding onto Spock's arm, lead him to an empty set of chairs at the bar. He motioned for the vulcan to sit, which Spock complied stiffly. "Captain, I must ask; where is the rest of the crew?"

Kirk ordered two drinks for him and Spock then turned to face the brown eyes that immediately pierced his own. "It's Jim. We're on leave, remember?" He cracked another crooked smile. "And don't worry about everyone else. They're big boys and girls, they can handle themselves. It's just you and me tonight."

 

_You and me._

 

Spock stared. Was he taking the meaning of such a statement in the wrong fashion? He certainly hoped not.

Two drinks were placed infront of the captain and his first officer. Spock raised an angled brow, "Cap-" He was cut of by Kirk's warning stare. "..Jim. I do not wish to waste your money. Vulcans are not affected by alcohol in the same ways as humans."

Jim took a long pull from his beer then chuckled. "I know. But we're on a mini-vacation. You should cut loose."

"Cut loose..?" Spock frowned slightly. "I apologize, but there is nothing in the vicinity to cut."

Kirk's eyes twinkled with amusement. "It's a human saying. Just try and relax Spock."

Jim nudged the bottle towards Spock's hand before returning to his own. The vulcan scrutinized the brown liquid for a moment then following his captain, took a long gulp. It left his throat and chest tingling. "I must admit, this concoction is quite satisfying."

Kirk lifted his eyebrows. "Of course it is. I know how to pick a good drink."

"So it would seem."

They continued drinking in silence, the music drowning out the conversations of others. Spock finished his beer in a matter of minutes and then let his attention drift to the crowded dancefloor, paying closer attention. The inhabitants were still moving, rubbing their hips together in an almost.. erotic dance to the beat of the music. Spock felt his heart accelerate as his thoughts wandered to the beautiful human seated next to him.

 

_Is that a customary dance..?_

 

Jim looked over at his distracted companion. "Damn, you finished that drink fast. But I shouldn't be surprised."

Spock nodded, only half-listening.

Kirk watched his commander for a but then tilted his head curiously. "Do you want to dance?"

Spock's head snapped to look at Jim, perhaps too quickly. He mentally scolded himself. "That would be highly illogical since I have no experience."

"Hey, I suck at dancing, but that hasn't stopped me!" Laughing, he took Spock's hand and dragged the vulcan onto the edge of the dancefloor. The bass was making the floor shake beneath them, sending the energy of the beat into their chest's.

 

_How odd.._

 

Jim began moving his feet in a rhythmic pattern; back and forth.. back and forth. His shoulders began matching his feet, and soon his whole body rolled and swayed to the impressive beat. "See? Not much too it."

Spock could only watch was his captain's body moved in such a graceful fashion, It was..  _sexy._

"You're quite practiced. I an unsure I qualify as a satidfactory dancing partner."

Jim shook his head, keeping the rhythm. "Just go with it."

Timidly, Spock began to move his feet, trying to mimic his partner's movements. They felt awkward and cumbersome, a peculiar sensation. His shoulders and arms were clamped tightly to his sides, producing a stiff, jerky bop. Spock was so concentrated on the music, calculating his next dance step, that it took him a moment to realize that Jim had a hand over his mouth, stifling a laugh. Spock froze suddenly, a green tinge crossing his cheek bones, neck, and the tips of his pointed ears.

"Are you.. blushing?!" Jim exclaimed.

Spock felt his heart sinking. "Unfortunately. I am sorry, Jim. I have failed you."

"You have failled..?" Kirk facepalmed, his shoulders shaking gently with laughter. "No, you were doing just fine. I'm sorry, I just find it funny that my first officer, who is always so confident, cannot simply move his feet." The crooked smiled appeared once more. "It's cute."

Spock's eyes widened. "I-I cannot fathom why such a failure could be considered  _cute_.."

The pure blue eyes met his, stopping the rest of his statement. "How about I show you some of m techniques?"

Jim stepped forward, never breaking eye contact. Their chests bumped slightly, the heat radiating from Spock, despite his tunic. The touch was slight, but it was enough to send an electric shock through th vulcan's body. Jim's hand brushed Spock's fingers, making him shudder. The captain took note and lifted his chin slightly to look at his commander's face. They were so close.. Jim's breath was on Spock's cheek, fingers slowly intertwining, body's pressed together.

Spock's heart hammered loudly in his ears, panic setting in. He tried to step back, but Kirk's hands held him still. "Jim.. I-I apologize.. this is illogical.. I.."

His eyes closed, Jim simply shook his head. "Just trust me, Spock,"

With tender care, Kirk moved to the front of his partner so his back was to Spock's chest. A new song was starting, and the blue eyes looked over his shoulder into the chocolate ones  that were intent on holding the gaze. A small, mischevious grin spread over Jim's face and he pushed back on Spock's pelvic girdle.

The vulcan immediately became rigid. He could not believe what had recently transpired; the intimate looks, the compliments. And now their bodies were upagainst one another. It was something Spock craved; to touch, and be touched by his captain. It was happening so quickly that he couldn't concentrate. His breaths were ragged as he tried to control the lust that was emanating from his core.

The beat was picking up, and so were Jim's hips. They grinded experimentally against Spock, hitting a stimulated point at each turn. The commander's hands had slipped down Jim's spine and were now grabbing at his hips as they rotated. They began to find a rhythm as their motions mimicked one another. Each partner seemed to easily find what made the other respond through pressure and touch.. No words were exchanged, just heat that was being shared in their personal dance.

As the song was coming to an end, Jim thrusted his hips erotically into Spock to see his reaction. The vulcan's grip tightened on Jim's pelvis almost to the point of pain. But there was something else; a form had taken shape under the captain's ass, and Spock had known it.

He mentally slapped himself for letting it get so far. And yet, he didn't want it to end, to let go of Jim. It almost physically hurt Spock to lower his arms, allwoing Jim to turn and face him. The familiar blue eyes were electrified, exotic. A flush dusted his cheeks and he smiled, causing another harsh leap in Spock's chest.

"Not bad.. not bad at all. You learn quickly."

"My teacher has my gratitude, for it would have been impossible without him."

Spock found Jim staring at him for a long moment, a mixture of expressions crossing over. Then his face paled, and Jim hesitated, making an odd choked sound before he was able to speak, "It's getting cramped in here.. we should go outside."

After a nod of agreement, he took Spock's hand and led him out into the night. The cool air rushed over them, chilling their skin in the aftermath of their lesson. The commander grippedJim's hand, terrified of what was to come. He didn't want to lose him.. not now. Not again.  _Not ever._

Kirk led him to a quiet street corner where the city's lights illuminated the sidewalk. He dropped Spock's hand and stood, his back facing his first officer. The moments of silence dragged on; a lump formed in Spock's throat as he watched Jim. The tumult of emotions coursing through his body were hardly containable. He was about to explode when Jim finally turned and face him.

His face read a mixture of happiness, fear, confusion, loneliness, longing.. and it scared Spock tremendously.

Jim sighed quietly. "For the first time in my life, I feel truly lost."

Spock's voice felt like gravel in his throat. "I share similiar feelings."

Their eyes met, Jim's wide with anticipation. "How similar..?" he whispered breathlessly.

Spock could feel the heat creeping up onto his cheeks as Kirk's words flowed over him. They were so close.. and he was so ready. Ready to take the plunge, ready to let go, ready to fully trust his captain with his delicate emotions.

"Jim, I.."

Before he could finish, Jim's lips were crushed against his. There was an edge to them, frantic as they moved against Spock's. The vulcan was still as Jim continued kissing him, the shock paralyzing his features.

The captain pursued until he was out of breath. He leaned his forehead against Spock's shoulder, his body trembling. Slowly, the commander wrapped his arms around Jim's waist and pulled back slightly so their eyes could meet. The brilliant blue shined with moisture; so innocent and vulnerable, it hurt Spock's chest.

He leaned in and brushed his lips against Jim's, feeling a rush of adrenaline and possessive power. He finally had his captain.

 

_His._

 

Their lips connected as last in a soft, passionate dance. Arms encircled one another, bringing their bodies closer. The kiss lingered for what seemed like hours until it was slowly broken. The two embraced, both afraid of losing what they had just gained.

Jim was the first to lean back. "Spock..please..tell me what you're thinking."

The vulcan looked down at his companion, still on a dizzying high from their kiss. "I find every aspect illogical." He paused. "That being said, I can no longer deny what I feel for you, t'hy'la."

Kirk cocked his head. "What does that mean?"

"It's a vulcan term. It has multiple meanings; Friend, brother, lover.." Spock's voice cracked on the last definition.

Jim shook his head incredulously. His words spilled out of his mouth in a rush, as if they only had so much time left. "Oh god Spock. I love you.. I love you so much."

Their lips met once more in a soul-crushing kiss. It ignited the fire that had been kindled over the last several years, bringing every fiber in their bodies alive; they were ready to take on whatever happened next, ready to face the galaxy.  _Together._

Between kisses, Spock murmured the three words he thought were nonexistent in his vocabulary. He shuddered as they left his mouth, a thrill he wanted to experience over and over again. He now knew it was possible because of his lover. Because of his t'hy'la, the man he trusted with his entire being.

"Jim.. I love you too."


End file.
